


Be Still My Foolish Heart

by Seaspray13



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Julian is a good friend, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Post-Episode: s04e06 Rejoined, background garashir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seaspray13/pseuds/Seaspray13
Summary: Julian does his best to comfort Jadzia after the events of "Rejoined."
Relationships: Jadzia Dax/Lenara Kahn (past), Julian Bashir & Jadzia Dax, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 14
Kudos: 38





	Be Still My Foolish Heart

“I’m worried about her.” Julian said, absentmindedly pushing food around his plate.

“To whom are you referring?” Garak asked. It was lunchtime and the two of them were dining at their usual table in the Replimat.

“Jadzia”

“Ah, yes, I believe I overheard Quark mention the unfortunate business between the Lieutenant and her ex-wife.”

“I feel terrible about it, so I can’t even begin to imagine how much worse she feels.” Julian said.

Garak seemed to consider for a moment. “The Lieutenant has been rather scarce as of late.”

“She’s hardly left her quarters other than to report for duty. Usually you can’t keep her away from Quark’s but I haven’t seen her in there for the past three days. No Tongo, no drinks with Morn, no holosuite time with the Major... I was trying to give her some space, but now I’m wondering if maybe I should do something...”

“What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll send her a bottle of synthehol?” In truth, Julian hadn’t given much thought to what he was going to do for his friend. All he knew is that he wanted to make her feel better.

“Have you spoken with her?”

“No.” Julian admitted.

“Why not deliver your gift in-person? It is less pleasant to drink alone.”

“Would she like that? I don’t want to bother her...”

“Julian.” Garak said softly. “Lieutenant Dax is your friend. If you believe she would benefit from a visit then that is what you should do.”

Julian nodded slowly. “I think you might be right.”

“You still have time before the infirmary demands your presence.”

Julian blinked, brows knitting together. “Are you saying I should go right now?”

“Of course, our discussion of _Twelfth Night_ can be delayed. Besides, it’s clear you don’t have much of an appetite.”

“I would feel bad ditching you.”

Garak waved a hand dismissively. “Do not worry, my dear. I will manage just fine.”

Julian was quiet for a moment, weighing the options in his mind. “Alright.” He said, reaching across the table to take Garak’s hand. “Thank you, Elim.” He smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“I look forward to it.”

\---

Julian stood outside the entrance to Jadzia’s quarters, bottle in hand. He hesitated, attempting to collect his thoughts.

Things could be tough, after a breakup, but that’s not really what this was, was it?

Julian couldn’t pretend to understand all the nuances of Trill society, but the choice Jadzia and Lenara had been faced with had seemed cruel.

What was he even supposed to say?

He let out a deep breath and rang the door chime.

After a painfully long moment, Julian heard a quiet “come in” from within. He stepped through the door, forfeiting his last chance to walk away.

“Hi Jadzia”

“Hi Julian.” Jadzia said. The Trill was in civilian clothing, leaning against the side of one of the room’s large circular windows, her eyes trained on the emptiness of space. 

“I brought this.” He said, setting the synthehol on an empty coffee table.

“Thanks Julian, but I’m not really in the mood.”

Julian rubbed his hands together, unsure of what to do with them now that they were unoccupied. “That’s ok.” He assured her. “We don’t have to drink, we can just talk, if you want...”

She looked at him now. “Talk about what?”

Julian found it impossible to read whatever emotion lay underneath that statement so he did his best to tread carefully. “Anything you want.” He said, taking a seat on a nearby chair. “I don’t know if you heard, but Quark and Kaga have started a promotion together. Anyone who can eat an extra large plate of gagh in under ten minutes gets a free hour in the holosuite.”

“Any if they can’t?”

Julian shrugged. “I guess they’re out the cost of an extra large plate of gagh.”

Jadzia gave him a slight smile but it faded quickly. “Are you going to give it a try?”

Julian shook his head. “No, but you should, you’ve always had the better stomach for Klingon food. Besides, I think Quark misses you.”

Her face darkened. “Well he’ll just have to miss me for a little longer.”

“Jadzia—“

“I don’t understand how she could do this to me. You’d think after 300 years I would be able to deal with something like this, but I’m just so angry.”

“She was scared.”

“She was a coward.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?” Jadzia had turned to face him fully, arms crossed over her chest. “I was ready to fight for us, for our love, for a future together, and she just walked away.”

“Not all of us can be as fearless as you, Jadzia Dax.”

“You think I wasn’t scared? I was terrified, but I was still prepared to take the risk. ”

“And Lenara wasn’t.”

“Exactly. I guess I was just more in love with her than she was with me.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s because she loved you that she left.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She said, walking over to sit on the couch with an excessive amount of force.

“Think about it, she saw what you had here, friends, family, a career. She didn’t want to ruin your happiness and the life that you’ve built.”

“Well I’m feeling pretty unhappy right now.”

“And would you have felt happy, being exiled from Trill, dooming the Dax and Kahn symbiotes to certain death? Would it have been worth it?”

“I—“ She swallowed. “I don’t know. Benjamin said something similar, when I talked to him about it.”

Julian watched her. “Sometimes I wish I could fix people’s hearts as easily as I could fix their bones but I can’t.” He said quietly.

She nodded and the pair sat without speaking for several minutes. 

“I think the laws against reassociation are wrong.” Jadzia finally said into the silence.

“You’ll get no argument from me.” Julian said. “And I think there are plenty of other Trills that would agree with you, probably enough that someday, the right person will do or say the right thing and the law will be changed.”

“Lenara didn’t think she was the right person.”

“No, she didn’t”

Jadzia sighed. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh towards her, I know I was asking a lot of both of us, and the symbiotes. It just hurts and I don’t know what to do. I made so many mistakes when we were married and I thought now was going to be my chance to fix things, but I’ve only gone and made everything worse.”

“I’m sorry Jadzia, I really am.” Julian said, getting up from his chair and moving to sit down next to her. “For what it’s worth, I love you, not in the same way that you and Lenara love each other, obviously, but...”

“I know.” She said. “And thank you, Julian, for coming to find me.”

“Always” He said, pulling her into a hug. “Although, you can thank Garak for giving me the courage.” Julian said once they had broken apart.

“I’ll be sure to do that.” She said, the corner of her mouth twisting up into a slight smile. “Since you’re here, what are the doctor’s orders?”

“Like I said, come with me to Quark’s. My prescription is that we stay there until you laugh.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the infirmary soon?”

“I’ll let them know I’m making a house call.”

She smiled, bigger than Julian had seen in quite some time. “I’ll go with you to Quark’s, on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“We both enter the gagh eating contest. If one of us succeeds, we share the holosuite time.”

Julian leaned back on the couch with a groan. “Fine, but only because it’s in my patient’s best interests.”

“Your dedication to the people in your care is truly unparalleled. It’s really no wonder why you came in second in your class at Starfleet Medical.” Jadzia said with mock seriousness.

Julian grinned. “You know, the reason I came in second—“

“Was because you mistook a pre-ganglionic fibre for a post-ganglionic nerve on your final exam, I know.” Jadzia finished the punchline of what had now become a bit of a joke between the two of them. “Now come on, there’s a plate of gagh with your name on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really love writing Jadzia and my current multi-chapter fic doesn't give me much of a chance to do so. Therefore I had to get writing Jadzia out of my system and this is what came of it. A little bit of Garashir snuck its way in, because of course it did.
> 
> Julian and Jadzia being bisexual bffs is very important to me.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
